The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
