yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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