Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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