Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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