I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
