So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
