If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
