It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Randomize
