I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
