I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
