You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
