gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
