I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
