I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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