please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
