I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
