C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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