very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize
