he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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