guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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