drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
