Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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