How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She's the barista slut.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize