I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize