I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
