he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
