Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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