Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Randomize
