I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
