shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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