So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
