Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
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