I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
