I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
