Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
