Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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