I wish I could punch you in the face.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
