The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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