the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
