I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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