We named our party play list daddy issues
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
