I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
