this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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