nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
