Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
