Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
