The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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