Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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