Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
