She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
