I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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