So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
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