It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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