Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
