he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
