The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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