WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
