don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
