fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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